✞ hp- The first task I was given in the monastery kitchens of Holy Protection was emptying individual little pepper packets into a large bowl. Several boxes of thousands upon thousands of these little pepper packets were donated to the women’s monastery. I spent hours opening each one and emptying the contents into a crystal for the sisters to use whenever and however they needed. The sister who tasked me with this chore, and fed me delicious food for my entire stay at the convent, told me I would “dream of black pepper.” I’ve honestly always loved black pepper. My eyes had never breathed that much in that way before though. Testing the fire alarms happened to be going on that day as well between my sneezings, and being fed exactly what I needed to eat. This blaring alarm going off to make sure it still can. This was during a different fasting season than the one right now. “Right now is a long time ago” I need to go back. I need to do more chores. I need God because he loves me. This is objectively true! I’m going to write even more as soon as I can. ♡ 

one big cookie

Envy is a lack of gratefulness altogether. Anger and despair. Love conquers death. Every drop of blood that fell from the crucifixion contained all of salvation and then some. Love casts out fear. All the blackberry vanilla sugar cookies melted into one big hot cookie on the pan and I ate the whole thing. How can I ever be thankful enough for God’s love?

another mother's day

"Another mother's day," is how I think of the feast day of saints Helen and Constantine. This is just another mothers day blog post. Sorry.

I was looking for another one of my old expired blog posts that I’m sure still exists somewhere. Another time when I was thinking about Saint Helen finding the most precious holy cross. How she found the tree of life. How she found it and how I’ve been venerating little slivers of it for most of the decades of my life in both America and Europe, mostly America, every chance I get. We have an American Pope now and I’ve been thinking about him a lot, popes in general, quite a lot, about his mother, the church, and the virgin mother Mary. All the mothers really and what they know now about life and death. Motherhood, in some ways every day is mother’s day, some are worse than others. 

I wrote this on the actual feast day of saints Helen and Constantine (according to my church) but I’m just now getting around to actually posting it. There was one year where I just stared at the wall for hours. (everyday for a year or just on Mother’s day? Perhaps.) Maybe. Europe remains named after the mythical-earthy princess consort of Jupiter basically. Every king I can think of has a mother. I’ve been surrounded by her daughters because each one is a different phase of the moon. (Allegedly.)

This is all some pretty ancient stuff. People have been thinking about these sorts of things for many months, many moons, ages, etc I trust the gospel truth of what happened and how that translates into all the purities expressed through every moment of motherhood. It makes sense that another mother, named after the shining light of the truth. The bright warmth of the one true light of God, Helen, would have found the nails, the cross, and the name of god written down.

Saint Lydia, pray for us!

And on the sabbath we went out of the city by a river side, where prayer was wont to be made; and we sat down, and spake unto the women which resorted thither.

And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul. And when she was baptized, and her household, she besought us, saying, If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there. And she constrained us.

And they went out of the prison, and entered into the house of Lydia: and when they had seen the brethren, they comforted them, and departed.

          -Acts of the Apostles 16:13-14,40. KJV

Happy saint Lydia day, I woke up and started washing the dishes before sunrise. The cat was gleefully rolling around on the floor again while I drank honey cinnamon coffee out of an old jar with a paper label on it that says: hot salsa. One of my study bibles describes saint Lydia in the footnotes as a “well to do business woman.” Every kind of wealth. My favorite color has been purple my whole entire life. I have escaped millions upon millions of prisons. The savior of the world set me free. He sets all the prisoners free.

And they clothed him with purple, and platted a crown of thorns, and put it about his head, And began to salute him, Hail, King of the Jews!

          - Mark 15:17-18 KJV

I wonder, from where, from who was this purple cloth purchased, I don’t know. He knows everything. Save them and save me O god. Save us! O Savior of the world, for by your cross and resurrection you have set us free. Glory to god forever. She is equal to the apostles of the Lord, her home is my home to this day; ever faithful to my lord and my king and my god. They also note that she was the first European convert, before Europe was even European perhaps, because of this, the first European woman to ever exist. Every impossibility is possible when we walk together in the great vast endlessness of god’s love.

Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved.

          - Philippians 4:1, KJV
            Paul’s letter to the church of Lydia

I pray my heart be open to the apostolic truth, that I may do all my works for the glory of god, and I give thanks for every place of prayer with purity of faith. Amen.

           Glory...

(Apolytikion in the First Tone)

Revering God with an upright intellect, through Paul she accepted the splendor of Grace, and was first with her entire household, in Philippi to believe in Christ, O godly-minded one, wherefore we honor you with songs of praise, Lydia of Philippi: glory to Him Who was well-pleased with you, glory to Him Who filled you with radiance, glory to Him Who gives through you greater things.

(Kontakion in the Fourth Tone)

The words of Paul, made you splendid, appearing in Philippi, as an image of a holy life, and your entire household was greatly glorified, for you were found worthy Lydia of Philippi.

(Megalynarion)

The first of Philippi to come to Christ, you came godly-minded one, through the renowned Paul, O Philippian, Lydia to the stream, where you were baptized in Zygakti, with your entire household O all-revered one.

             ...Now and ever unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Saint Lydia Purpuraria, pray for us, and through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and save us! Amen.

X 

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen.